守株待兔

农夫：I’m a farmer.（稍停顿）[走两步]A modern farmer.（掏出墨镜戴上）[冷酷地走两步，突然被绊了一跤，回头生气地踢了下绊自己的石头，继续保持冷酷]When I was yong,I studied in Nan~tong Middle School[掏出胸卡骄傲地展示给观众看，收起]！So I’m rich now！[开始展示名牌，边说边掏]Look！This is my modern mobile——Motorola WC 250！This is my Swatch!This my MP3!This is my

shoes——ADI~DAS!This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh,sorry. And look at this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do U know what’s this？痒痒挠？No no no~~It’s my modern——锄头~！！[看下表]It’s time to do some farming！[开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作，锄了两下，突然] Oh yes!I think farming should be combined with music![掏出MP3戴上，开始很有激情地边锄地边唱]Farming

farming,I’mfarming!Farming should be combined with music~!Farming farming,I’mfarming!Farming will be funny and easy~![边唱边锄边慢慢下台，把没用的道具拿走，把有用的道具准备在口袋里] [树走上前台]

树：I’m a tree!I can do many things!I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作，边做边唱：哼哼哈西！！！]I can dance![跳四小天鹅]I’m tall!And I’m Strong!IF you hit me,you will 挂掉！Oh?There comes a rabbit! [引导观众看兔子A)。树站回后台]

[兔子A上]

兔子A（一开始不知道状况。以为自己扮演周杰伦，所以很热情地上场跟观众打招呼）：Hey

everybody,I’mJay!I love U!I love Nantong![展示新专辑《十一月的肖邦》]Now let me sing one of my new songs to U！The name of the song is 《发如雪》！[清清嗓子正要唱，这时候导演（范冰）上] 导演：[拿手中纸筒狠狠打了下兔子A的头]What are U doing?! Now U are a rabbit,understand?![兔子A：Sorrysorry sorry] [导演边说边夺过《十一月的肖邦》。导演下台之前，看了下《十》] What’s this?[看了看，惊喜地]Oh!It’s mine！（很兴奋地拿着下场）

兔子A：OK,now I’m a rabbit. I just had my breakfast. Now I’m just walking around here. I think walking after meals is good for my health. [在场上转圈，悠闲散步]

[农夫继续锄地，边锄边上场，突然看见前面有个兔子]

农夫：（惊喜地）Lunch！[扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it！ [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走]

[农夫跟在兔子后面。两个人走啊走。兔子突然回头。农夫假装看手表。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装看天气。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装打手机。两人继续走，兔子回头。这次农夫冷酷地把枪口对准了兔子。]

兔子A：Wahhhh~!（吓一跳）What’s this！

农夫：Hnnnn…！I will kill U for lunch!

兔子A：But your gun… [帮农夫把枪头调转过来（农夫一开始把枪对着自己）]

农夫：Thank you!

兔子A：My pleasure.（突然想起来农夫要杀自己）Wah~~~~~~ [兔子跑，躲到树后面，农夫追到树前]

农夫：Where~ to go? Haha!

[农夫开了一枪“砰”。兔子在树后惊慌躲闪，没被打到。树做出受伤中弹状。农夫又开枪，同上。农夫开始加快频率，火力密集地开枪。兔子开始时惊慌躲闪，躲着躲着跳起舞来。树继续痛苦中弹状。] 兔子A[自我陶醉中，边跳边说]You didn’t hurt me! You didn’t hurt me！

树：[痛苦万分地]But…U…Hurt me….[痛苦地慢慢挪动到兔子背后]

[兔子继续兴奋地跳舞。农夫停止开枪，走到兔子面前，看着它。兔子猛然抬头发现]

农夫：Ah ha~! Bye bye ! [举枪对准兔子，开枪，没声音，看看枪，示意没子弹了。兔子见状，非常兴奋地大笑起来]

兔子A：Ha hahaha! You can’t kill me now！ [兴奋大笑，笑到抽筋，笑到后仰。突然头撞倒了后面的树] Wa！[兔子晕两下~~ “我倒！” 倒地]